Every time I watch the news my heart weeps. Logically, I understand the reasoning behind why people do what they do and behave the way they behave. Power. Greed. Wealth. Religion. All of these things are concepts as old as the humanity. All have been at the root of wars, blind hatred, and worse for as long as we have existed. The most basic part of me, my un-evolved primal self, gets it. You want more, you take it. You don’t like something, you destroy it.
The problem, the issue that shreds my faith in our future as a species, is that not only can I see what is going on, but I feel it. There aren’t dead bodies lined neatly across the ground creating a fleshy soulless track for a train filled with despair, but family. Not mine, but someone’s. Those aren’t bodies. They are memories that will forever be forgotten. Hopes that will never be realized. Lives that will never meet their full potential, their possibly wondrous potential that could re-shape mankind for the better. Where I once could see such atrocities and think, “Wow, that’s sad,” then move on with my day, now I have no choice but to weep at our selfishness.
How can people think they are gifted with a purpose of murder? How can someone look upon another with such a rage-filled hatred that it consumes their every thought and action? How can someone steal the life of someone’s child without mourning the loss? How can people be so blinded by things that, aside from religion, have no real purpose? Unfortunately, Earth and her people leave me with more questions than answers.
Sometimes, I sit in darkness and allow the quiet to envelop me, a sickening cocoon of pensive thoughts. I pull myself away from the illusion of this life and try to see our era from a third person perspective, or even a future historian. Will said historian speak of our time as a re-awakening or as a second Dark Age? One that is read about in over priced books by young men and women with obvious disgust, wonder, and pity. “How could they live like that?” they will ask. But I have to admit, I also wonder how the misguided actions of this era will shape the future. Will there even be a tattered used book to buy or will this Dark Age, this Age of Deceit and Paranoia, lead to a world so beautiful with divine love that it is beyond our current comprehension? I choose to believe the latter. No, I have to believe it. Because if I don’t, if all of the loss and suffering is for nothing, then my heart will be consumed. There will be no reason for anything. No reason to work. No reason to love. No reason to remain here.